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This year I’m one of the presenters and workshop leaders at the Annual Conference of the National Network of Pastoral Musicians. I was invited to write a short piece for their monthly newsletter, Accord (No. 79, March 2024). I thought I’d share it here, as a little light relief. Enjoy! (as they say).
What would Jesus do? For me, that is usually a cringe-making question, but I find myself asking it in a light-hearted way about the recent controversy over “silent discos” in Church of England cathedrals. Setting aside the fact that as a first century Palestinian Jew, Jesus might have found a cathedral built in his name even more perplexing than a silent disco, it’s a question that might help to navigate a path through complex and conflicting ideas about the purpose of cathedrals, the meaning of the sacred, and the call to evangelization and mission.
A headline in the Guardian newspaper puts it well: “Celebration or desecration? England’s cathedrals open doors to silent discos”.
Adult revellers can buy drinks from the bar and pay to dance the night away in colourful lighting to music playing through individual headphones, amidst the ancient vaults and sacred spaces of England’s medieval cathedrals. While encouraging the public to enjoy buildings that have always been focal points for communities, and perhaps even persuading a sceptical secular society that Christian places of worship can be as much about dancing, laughter and good times as about prayer and preaching, the real motive is fundraising.
Maintaining and servicing the country’s vast cathedrals is a costly business running to millions of pounds per building per year. There is little Government funding for this, and only minimal funding from the Church of England. Everything else has to come from fundraising events, grants, and entrance fees. These challenges have led to cathedrals resorting to a wide range of fundraising activities, from a helter skelter in the nave of Norwich Cathedral to luxury retreats. The Church Times reports mixed reactions to such initiatives. Very Revd David Monteith, Dean of Canterbury, suggests that the silent discos have a “gentle evangelistic dimension”, but admits their purpose is primarily about fundraising.
There have been protestors praying outside cathedrals where these discos have been taking place. A petition objecting to one in Canterbury Cathedral, organised by Roman Catholic Dr Cajetan Skowronski, has gathered more than 3,000 signatures. The petitioners clearly have a dim view of those “ravers” attending the discos, quoting Matthew 21: 12-13: “My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of robbers.” According to the petition, February’s disco in Canterbury Cathedral (“the most important Christian church in England”), was “a strictly 18+ event, featuring plenty of alcohol and the music of the 90’s: Britney, Spice Girls, Eminem and the Vengaboys”. Catholic Herald columnist Gavin Ashenden complains that “No one seriously believes that tipsy dancing kids gyrating to vulgar lyrics are likely to leave more open to an experience of the sacred and the numinous than when they came in.”
The sell-out events have attracted an enthusiastic following with thousands taking part. They are advertised on a Facebook site, “Silent Discos in Incredible Places”. Curious? Over 18? You too can enjoy “some of the UK's best 80s DJs playing all your favourite tunes in the stunning, illuminated surroundings of Guildford Cathedral.” Scroll down the Facebook page a little further, and there’s a box saying “Meet Your Host”, with a photo of a brightly illuminated cathedral but no mention that Jesus might be the host.
I admit that I was initially one of the nay-sayers. The Christian tradition has inspired the most sublime music in the western world. There are so many more appropriate activities that could be hosted by cathedrals. I recently splashed out on hugely expensive tickets for Tristan und Isolde at Glyndebourne this year. Even though I booked early, it was already nearly sold out. Most cathedrals have glorious acoustics. The recent biopic about Leonard Bernstein, Maestro, shows Bradley Cooper giving a masterly rendition of Bernstein conducting Mahler’s Symphony No. 2 (his Resurrection Symphony) at Ely Cathedral in 1973.
(This is the original Bernstein version. When I watch this, I want to say “I’ll have what he’s having”.)
Why not host operas, symphonies, even some more appropriate popular music, in cathedrals? Anything but silent discos.
What would Jesus do?
Well, that’s a loaded question, but I think scripture gives us an answer:
While Jesus was dining at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with Him and His disciples—for there were many who followed Him. When the scribes who were Pharisees saw Jesus eating with these people, they asked His disciples, “Why does He eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus told them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2: 15-17)
Would Jesus be sitting in the pews in his dinner jacket or ecclesiastical robes, having paid hundreds of pounds for a ticket to listen to Tristan und Isolde among the cultural glitterati? Would he be outside the silent disco protesting, placard in hand? Or would he be raving with headphones on, beer in hand, gyrating to vulgar lyrics with the tipsy dancing kids? What do you think?